HOUSTON — "Ninja Ramen is struggling."
The owner of a ramen restaurant on Washington Avenue, west of downtown Houston, is trying to think outside the box -- or in this case, the bowl -- to attract more customers.
Christopher Huang shared on his socials that Ninja Ramen is "having a really tough time" and they may not make it much longer if business doesn't pick up.
His is a familiar story in the restaurant biz: Business never returned to pre-COVID levels, people are spending less and there's more competition than ever.
"And while I raised my ramen prices 50 cents 3 years ago, costs have gone up approximately 18% in just the past 18 months," Huang posted on Instagram. "What that means is that we’re losing thousands of dollars every month."
Desperate times call for desperate measures so Huang started an OnlyFans account to spread the word about his Japanese whiskey bar. He even posed in a tube top for the cover photo.
For those of you who aren't familiar, OnlyFans subscribers pay to see often adult content from celebrities, influencers, even porn stars. Some make millions with the pay-per-view business model by sharing everything from feet pics [Seriously.] to nudes.
For the record, Huang is soliciting photos of "noods" [noodles, silly], not nudes.
"Send me pictures of you eating our hot noods, and I’ll post them (with your consent, of course)," he posted.
In other words, food porn.
"I think it's gonna be a just a fun way of engaging, it's not trying to be too crazy," Huang told us.
His multi-step plan to keep the doors open goes beyond OnlyFans.
- Promoting Ninja Ramen's large selection of Asian whiskies and slashing prices on them up to 50% for a limited time.
- Rotating specials and add a new cocktail menu
- More events and collabs
"Chefs, owners, pornstars! Hit me up so we can do cool and weird things together this year!" Huang said on the Instagram post.
He also trucks in snow -- inside and outside the restaurant -- every December and once offered free ramen for life to anyone who got a Ninja Ramen tattoo during the celebration of their nine years in business.
For the man who describes himself as "the sexiest business owner in a 20-foot radius," sarcastic humor is all part of the brand. That's clear on the website, which includes Ninja Ramen's five secrets to their Asahikawa-style ramen recipe.
"We only use the meat and bones of pigs that lived the happiest of lives and died when their souls ascended to heaven, leaving their perfect bodies for us to harvest. The happier the pig, the tastier the meat."
"We mix in 3 different dashi to fully capture the flavor of the sea, two of which are hand-delivered to us by a dinglehopper-using mermaid..."
"We lay the eggs ourselves, then sing lullabies to them while lovingly bathing them in a magical marinade for several days. They grow up happier and more delicious this way."
We use only curly, free-range noodles that have never been caged or injected with hormones. Then we trap them in our bowls and serve them to you at their peak vitality."
"We put crack in it."
His struggle, though, is not a laughing matter and Huang is very serious about saving the restaurant.
"I don’t know how to ask for help in an elegant manner; it’s just not a skill I’ve developed yet. Instead I’m going to awkwardly (but strongly) appeal to your sense of kinship to Houston culture that we’ve been a part of for the past decade," he posted. "We’re a part of the city’s flavor, please tell your friends and family to come slurp us up. See? I told you 'awkwardly.'"