It's only the third week of The Bachelorette, and already, the guys are falling off like petals on a dead rose.
And you know what, it's not necessarily because our dazzling Bachelorette, Becca Kurfin, is sending guys home left and right.
The men of this season of The Bachelorette are either having a rough stint of bad luck or -- that sage cleansing that former Bachelorettes Rachel Lindsay, JoJo Fletcher and Kaitlyn Bristowe performed on the mansion at the beginning of the season was actually a curse. Let's hope it's not the latter.
The third week in the search to find the best potential husband for Becca started off with some leftover drama from the previous week. Good ole' Colton, the man who I initially said would make it far in the bachelorette competition, has a large dark cloud hanging over his head after he disclosed to Becca that he dated one of her close sister girlfriends, Tia from Arie's season of The Bachelor, before coming on the show.
And with that juicy tidbit, it wouldn't be The Bachelorette if we didn't see Tia make an immediate appearance on the show after Colton told Becca the truth.
With that said, absolutely no one is surprised when the first date card of the third episode is a group date where Colton is included and all of Becca's close friends from her time on The Bachelor are there too -- including Tia.
Becca started her bone picking with speaking to Tia first in front of her other friends, informing them that one of her potential loves has already dated Tia before.
And almost immediately -- there appears to be a tinge of awkwardness in the room as Tia shifts her eyes back and forth. It could make a viewer wonder if Tia is really over Colton or if she's pushing her feelings aside for the sake of her friend who is going on another extremely public love journey. Tia also brings it to light that it's possible Colton went on the show because he believed that Tia would be The Bachelorette. However, if that's the case, Colton won't get a chance to smell the roses because as Becca said, she'll "have to send him home."
While Becca was preparing to assess the awkward situation with Tia and Colton, she was also figuring out what was going on with the six other guys -- and that involved another group date filled with pampering. But unlike last week, where the guys tried on some dapper tuxedos, it was the men's turn to treat Becca and her friends like queens, forcing the guys to utilize their massage, pedicure and manicure skills. Shockingly, they weren't half bad.
But after a few minutes of tee-hees and compliments Becca issued to her other suitors, the page flipped back to the Colton and Tia business. In a separate room, Tia told Becca the real scoop on her and Colton's relationship, and apparently, it was never exclusive and the most they did physically was kiss. But their slight affair doesn't seem like something Becca will shake easily.
In fact, most of her other group date-chit chats were overshadowed by the Colton cloud.
It's a good thing someone decided to ignite the flame within everyone's favorite self-proclaimed model, sparking another drama session between the men.
Now, it's beyond me why Jordan, A.K.A. "The Pensive Gentlemen," would ever think it would be appropriate to brag about his Tinder matches to a group of guys he's competing against for a shot at love, but it happened anyway. And rightfully so, Jordan was ratted out to the woman he's allegedly trying to impress and hopefully marry at the end of the day. Between that and Jordan's monologue to David about "professionality" (a real word), I was baffled yet again at why Becca continues to keep Jordan around. But then I remembered that he will remain The Bachelorette jester of comedy until he's sent home from the show around the travel period.
Now -- back to Colton, one thing that can be said is that he appears to be approaching the situation from the point of complete honesty. And Becca is eating up that Colton cake, eventually giving the group date rose to him at the end of the night. Honestly, no one in the audience should have been surprised because Colton was mentioned several times in Becca's confessionals and during the date, and it's clear she wants him to stick around if he TRULY is over Tia. As I said earlier, we'll see about that.
While Colton was the star of the first half hour of the show, Becca does, in fact, have her eyes on a few other guys in the house. This time I'm talking about Chris R., who landed the only one-on-one date of the episode.
Luckily for Chris, who revealed he has issues with vulnerability, his first date was all about being extremely open. Cue the trip to Capitol Records and a lyric writing session with award-winning artist Richard Marx. Marx serenaded Becca and we heard her singing voice for the first -- and hopefully last time.
A for effort, girl.
And then it was time for the date challenge: writing a love song to someone you've known a whole three weeks. Whoop!
Chris R. was on the struggle bus for most of the date at Capitol Records, and as it turns out, he actually had a good reason for it. He said that he wrote an emotional letter to his absentee father a few years earlier, but he never got a response back. The entire story was really sad and definitely made me want to root for Chris R. and everything he's about. Becca appeared to appreciate Chris R.'s openness and gave my guy the one-on-one date rose. Also, Richard Marx serenaded them in typical Bachelorette fashion.
It was magical.
But while Chris R. and Colton were basking in their safety net roses, a storm was brewing over the rest of the men, starting with everyone's favorite tattletale, David.
Back at the Bachelor mansion, the viewer is transported to an eerie scene filled with blood and ambulance lights. David, the man who started a tiff with the Pensive Gentlemen, was being removed from the house on a stretcher, and at that point, it seemed pretty likely that the model was the person who beat him up.
But -- in classic Bachelorette fashion, while it seemed like a whirling ocean of drama, it turned out to be a baby pond as the hook, line, and sinker.
David didn't get beat up at all. He broke his nose and severely injured his face after he fell off of a bunk bed in a freak accident. He stayed in intensive care for the rest of the episode.
Now -- to the next victim: Clay.
He's the second NFL player on the show, and surprise, surprise, he ended up on the group date where the guys were asked to play -- you guessed it -- football!
At first, you could tell the Chicago-area baller was holding back a little bit as he dealt with his team, some of whom weren't very athletic -- cough, Lincoln. But -- eventually, Clay kicked it into high gear and showed the other men why he gets paid for a living to ball out; however, it was also his ultimate undoing in the football game and the competition for Becca's heart.
Our favorite NFL player seriously hurt his wrist on The Bachelorette football field and had to be driven off the court in the second ambulance of the episode. While he managed to return for the group date cocktail hour in a sling, he hinted that his injury might be more serious than he expected.
Becca seemed like she really appreciated the fact that Clay was a trooper and played the game so well to win her affections. In the end, she gave him the group date rose.
However, there was inner turmoil brewing within Clay.
In his confessional, he said his injury was so serious, he would need corrective surgery immediately. And as a professional football player, understandably, he can't afford to be injured. But -- he also was conflicted because he didn't want to end his budding relationship with Becca.
"it's tough. I'm building a real connection with Becca, and she's the type of girl I've been looking for my whole life," he said in his confessional.
In the end, he chose football over the glowing Bachelorette and left Becca crying in front of the mansion.
It's unfortunate because Clay was climbing up in my ranks of potential final hubby candidates.
Next week, we'll find out the conclusion of this week's rose ceremony, and we'll also possibly see what David's face looks like after his period of time in intensive care. ABC is really gassing it up to be a dramatic reveal, but after this week's events, I'm seriously doubting it.