MEXICO CITY – There was a time when the culturally rich Mexican capital was a lot more user-friendly for the average tourist with a guidebook, a subway map and a dozen words of Spanish. That is so last century, however.

The Federal District, its formal name, has become such a crush of traffic, people and illegal taxis where illegal acts occur, that even those of us who live here wish we had a driver, a guide and someone to watch our backs.

For $170 a day, visitors can have that and more.

Bernardo Ortiz, a certified Mexican tour guide for more than 25 years, is fluent in English and other languages and knows every millimeter of the capital (and most of the country).

For about seven hours, he will answer questions nonstop even while driving, walking or eating. And if there's something Bernie doesn't know, he'll find out.

While it may seem as if you are the one paying him, in fact, Bernie is handing out the gold coins of the city's treasures as he steers you through centuries-old churches and palaces, fine-art museums and parks, bohemian neighborhoods and restaurants.

If you want a crash course in Mexican history going back thousands of years, go to the Museum of Anthropology in Chapultepec Park and Bernie will move you room-by-room and civilization-by- civilization.

He's also an expert on the Spanish conquest, European architecture, the war for independence, the Mexican Revolution, Frida Kahlo, Diego Rivera, the Cristero movement, Roman Catholic religious sites, modern political history and where to get the best tacos and coldest Coronas.

SARAH MONTONE

Diego Rivera's socialist mural "Man, Controller of the Universe"

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Bernie knows all about popular culture, too. During a recent tour with him of the centro historico, which was the center of political and religious life for the Aztecs and their Spanish conquerors, he surprised me with this tidbit of modern history:

The century-old street organs, which were given to Mexico by Germany during the terrible poverty and devastation of the 1910 Mexican Revolution, have been modified given the difficulty of finding spare parts to keep them in playing condition.

The new versions of the street organs, played throughout downtown by uniformed men and women looking for a small tip, are little more than wooden boxes with fake handles and CDs inside playing music through a discreet speaker.

To find out whether the street organ is real or fake, one can hold a hand up to the front of the box, where air should stream out with each crank if it's real.

I also remember one tour when one of my visiting bosses casually asked about a hotel building and its history. Bernie didn't know but was prepared to dash across four lanes of rush-hour traffic to inquire at the establishment.

NICHOLAS GILMAN/McClatchy Tribune

The Palacio de las Bellas Artes in Mexico City

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Having your own tour guide – as opposed to being on a bus with a bunch of other people and their needs – allows you to call the shots, make plans, change them, linger over lunch and skip another church, or leave town to see the Teotihuacan pyramids.

A longer day may cost a few extra bucks, but the money you're spending is worth the peace of mind alone. Mexico City isn't dangerous if you know what you're doing, and if you're paying attention the whole time, all the time, and speak some of the language.

But that takes a lot of energy and can sap the fun out of being in such a modern place with such ancient roots. Guided, you can relax, listen and enjoy royal treatment for the price of a night at a decent hotel.

Many guides are waiting in their sedans and Suburbans to pick you up from the airport if you want, take you to a hotel, tour you around town and make sure you get wherever you are going. Of course, add-ons cost more, but you control the tour and the price.

No tour guide can guarantee that you won't be robbed or pickpocketed or otherwise have a bad moment or a bad meal, but they can reduce the possibility significantly.

They also can introduce you to other tourism options, whether it's a 10-day bus tour (in a group) through southern Mexico, or a mountain-bike excursion in the northern state of San Luis Potosi.

Whether you're a newcomer to the Federal District or an old hand, Bernie and other private tour guides can acquaint you with a city you would never get to know without help, or point out a new wrinkle to things you've seen a hundred times.

Such as street organs playing CDs.

Either way, you're in control, and that's a good feeling in a place that seems on the verge of being out of control.

In Mexico, tourist guides are certified by the government after taking courses and exams. Three independent tour guides in Mexico City, all of whom speak English and all of whom know each other, are:

•Bernardo Ortiz Rojas, netouring@hotmail.com; 011-521-55-3248-2673 (cellular).

•Fernando Ledezma Rios, fernandoledezmarios@yahoo .com; 011-521-55-2316-6491 (cellular).

•Carlos Escalera, sklescaleraalcielo@hotmail.com; 011-521-55-2952-4922 (cellular).