Dear Roze:

I work for a small structural engineering firm in Austin Texas as a CAD/IT manager with less than 15 permanent employees. The wife of the principal of the firm is the office manager/associate, and she’s been shouting at me since December 2004 about any situation she thinks she can get me on. She also gives me wrong instructions and does not forward emails to me so I can do correct work. The latest of these incidents was yesterday when she falsely accused me of just about everything, from not giving work to the interns or cad techs, to slapping my timesheets in front of my face because I had to work overtime even if I had a written authorization from her husband, the principal of the firm, that I can do overtime for IT work. Last week, she sat in my review with the principal of the firm and another engineer.All the topics in my review were very good until it came to my communication with her. I finally decided to open up to her husband, the principal of the firm, that she shouts at me as often as she can, even in his presence. She immediately shouted at me that she never did such a thing! Please let me know what to do. Thanks.

-Stressed at Work

Dear Stressed at Work:

Not knowing how the principal of the firm handled the situation during your review last week, I suggest that you attempt to have a respectful, non-confrontational discussion with the office manager, his wife. Let her know that you want to know what you can do to improve your working relationship with her. If your relationship with her does not improve after your sincere efforts, have a one-on-one with the principal. Before you meet with him, prepare a document that details the incidents you have experienced with his wife, your efforts to improve the relationship, and your recommendation(s) as to how he can help remedy the situation.

Good luck!

Dear Roze:

I’m so tired of the negativity of one of my coworkers. Without fail, he comes up with a negative comment about whatever is being discussed in every staff meeting we have. I’m not exaggerating. Yes, he’s been around for close to 20 years and he does real good work, but I get so tired of hearing all of his negative remarks. Everyone, including our department head, allows him to say whatever he wants. It’s obvious that his comments don’t bother our department head, but I’m confident that he’d have an issue with them if his performance weren’t up to snuff. I’ll admit that I’ve always gone along with his comments, but I’ve never been comfortable with them. They’re bothering me more than ever now because we have some new recruits in our department. I know if I were new, his remarks would make quite an impression on me. I think it sends a bad message to allow him to get a way with all the garbage he spews. Any suggestions? Talking to our department head is not an option.

-Fed up with Negative Comments

Dear Fed up with Negative Comments:

It has been my experience that everyone in an office has at least one individual that he/she respects and hence, confides in. I suggest that you have a conversation with the person in your department that this negative employee is close to. Explain your concerns and request that he/she have a one-on-one with him and recommend that he tone down his negativity.

Dear Roze:

As mutually agreed upon, I’ve called a guy about a possible job opportunity. I’ve called him three times and he hasn’t returned one of my calls. It makes no sense to me since he’s the one who told me to call him when we ran into each other at the dry cleaner. As luck would have it, I ran into him again and he asked me when I would be calling him. I found it hard to believe that he hadn’t received any of my messages, but I didn’t let him see my doubts. I do think he was trying to cover up his poor behavior by pretending that he didn’t know that I had called. I just told him that I was sorry that he didn’t get my calls and that I would try again. In actuality, I think he’s giving me a runaround and I don’t know if I want to call him again. What do you think?

-Don’t give me the runaround

Dear Don’t give me the runaround:

I understand your reluctance to call this person again, but I would attempt to contact him again if you believe that it could lead to substantive work for you. If you do not have the opportunity to talk and/or meet with him after this attempt, move on.

Best of luck!