Motivational speaker offers controversial dating tips for teens

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by STEVE STOLER / WFAA

WFAA

Posted on November 13, 2013 at 9:39 PM

RICHARDSON -- He's given the same speech thousands of times, but Wednesday was different.

Some high school students in Richardson pushed back after hearing Justin Lookadoo, a speaker hired by the PTA, deliver his program on relationships, including violence and respect. The students became upset after reading a set of "dateable" rules on Lookadoo’s website.

"If he ever raises his voice to you, if he ever calls you a name, get out of the relationship," Lookadoo said in his speech to Richardson High School students. "Get out of it now."

Lookadoo's website offers "dateable" rules for girls and boys, with religious overtones. He advises girls to accept their "girly-ness," describing them as "soft and gentle." He tells girls to be mysterious.

"Dateable girls know how to shut up," Lookadoo wrote. "They don’t monopolize the conversation. They don’t tell everyone everything about themselves. They save some for later. They listen more than they gab."

In his rules for boys, the former juvenile probation officer describes them as "stronger, more dangerous, and more adventurous."

Those rules are not a part of his program at public schools.

"We visited with the speaker about them, and he assured us they would not be a topic he would cover," said Tim Clark, the school district spokesman.

Lookadoo told WFAA he has different programs for different audiences.

Whenever you go into a school versus a church, versus a business, you got to play the game you're in," Lookadoo said. "You don't wear a basketball uniform and go out on the football field."

Curious parents who heard Lookadoo's speech applauded his message.

"I love the fact that he casts a vision to empower these students to be proud of who they are, to be confident, and say no when it's time to say no," said Lisa Stengel, a parent.

Ironically, it was Richardson High School students who confronted Lookadoo about his dateable rules on his website and some of the things he said on stage.

"Why did you tell girls to get out of abusive relationships, instead of telling guys not to be abusive in the first place?" one student asked.

"I've done about 4,000 programs, and that's never happened," the speaker said.

Richardson ISD officials say it's up to school administrators to check out speakers. Since Lookadoo spoke to the same school four years ago with no complaints, he was welcomed back.

E-mail sstoler@wfaa.com

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