AUSTIN -- Words of wisdom and hilarity from a fourth grader are being documented by his father, a University of Texas journalism professor, on Twitter.
Under the Twitter name @StuffVladSays, his father Robert Quigley has posted some funny things, directly from his boy's mouth.
The latest entry, “Living in old times would be great and terrible; great because you rode horses, but terrible because you used pinecones for toilet paper.”
Vlad apparently loves Torchy’s Tacos and plain thinks they’re genius, "Whoever invented @TorchyTaco must have been related to Albert Einstein. Their food is just genius." His affinity for tacos goes even further when he thinks about future aspirations as president of the United States, “(Why do you want to be president?),” his father asked, Vlad responded saying, "I want to help people. And make the White House chef make me tacos." Vlad also loves bacon, "I could never be a vegetarian. Bacon is too important!"
He says he’s also popular at school, “I'm famous in my class for stuffing a square of cornbread in my mouth.” And he loves food, "You know how romantic I am about my food."
The kid is in love with his mother and in one post he says that should be more important than bedtime and brushing his teeth. "Mom, isn't love more important than bedtime? Isn't love more important than brushing my teeth?"
StuffVladSays also posted jabs about his mother, "Mommy, your hair smells like wine ... and beer!" And the Pentagon, "In a monkey world, the Pentagon would be called the Monkeygon."
You can see the boy and his father have a very special relationship in this post about video games, "Dad, I think pretty much every video game I know about, you introduced to me, and I just want to say thank you." He was later quoted in a post by his father saying, “Your childhood must have been terrible because there were no video games.”
Even at his young age, the fourth grader is thinking about his future, "When I'm old and walking with a walking stick, I'm going to wear my underwear outside my pants, just to mess with my son."
Of course he loves summer, but as we can all attest, the season goes by far too fast, "Summer goes as fast as an elevator in the dang Empire State Building." He also has something to say about the traditional two day weekend, "Why aren't they always three-day weekends?"
Even his father can’t escape a little jab, "Dad, is this picture from when you were in college? You looked A LOT better then. What happened?!"
All the joking can be tough work too, so Vlad takes the occasional break, "This year, I decided to not be the class clown - it is too much work."
As a music lover, he envisions Ray Charles in heaven with a piano, "In heaven, instead of playing a harp, I think Ray Charles is playing a golden piano." But his mother’s loud rock music can be a bit much at times, “Mom, that's a little too much rock music for the morning. Only crazy punks would do that. Or maybe hobos.”
And a couple of life lesson he’s learned so far, "I don't learn anything from mistakes. All I learn is I made a stupid mistake. How is that any good?" Even a little bit about the ladies, "I know a lot about girls. Like about how they're vicious."
Vlad even talks about hanging up on Governor Rick Perry, "Dad, I think I just hung up on Governor Rick Perry. Should I call him back to say sorry?"
VINE VIDEO'S OF VLAD, POSTED BY HIS FATHER, ROBERT QUIGLEY: