Jake made it very clear this week that if you don't look like a wife, smell like a wife, or remind me of someone I might like to see in a wedding dress...get off my show! He kicked off more ladies in one night than any bachelor ever...this far along in the competition. In case you were unsure...Jake is SERIOUS about finding a Mrs. Pavelka. Apparently he has accepted the fact that his last name does not sound pretty with Ella, Kathryn, Jessie, or Ashleigh....to be honest, it doesn't sound pretty with anything. He should have considered changing his last name the way Brad Womack did. I'm just saying...maybe that's why those boys in high school called him Mr. Dateless. It has a better ring to it.
This week the girls had to pack up their things, load up the RV, and head up the Pacific Coast Highway on a road trip to LOVE and Disaster. It was quite obvious that most of these ladies had never been on an RV, nor were they looking forward to spending so much time in cramped quarters with one another. In fact, Ali demonstrated where she'd like to stick Vienna, when she crawled inside the luggage compartment on the side of the bus. The producers gave the ladies a home video camera to document the road trip...probably hoping for some footage they could sell to Girls Gone Wild. No such luck...just a bunch of girls acting stupid.
So where is our Top Gun Jake during all of this? Well he's riding his motorcycle up the coast in his gigantic helmet. He manages to arrive at the vineyard before the ladies get there, so he has plenty of time to pitch a tent and pretend that he loves the great outdoors. Once the girls arrived, they all jumped off the bus and smothered him with hugs and kisses. Oh that Jake...he's so sweet...it's getting a little ridiculous. Jake hands Gia the first date card. She kind of looked like she was wearing that off the shoulder number from Flashdance...I kept waiting for the song..."She's a Maniac...Maniac...on the floor!" But sadly...it never came. She did however do the little dance as she read her date card while all the other girls sat around and felt sorry for themselves.
On their date Gia and Jake played a little game called “Who's the Biggest Nerd?” (Gia) I was taken out of school because people kept stealing my things...(Jake) I never kissed anyone until I was in the 11th grade...(Gia) My first kiss was awful...(Jake) I've never played spin the bottle....and now they have a perfect idea for how to utilize the left over wine bottle. Sorry guys...spin the bottle with two people...not real exciting to watch...even with the flamenco guitar mood music. Needless to say...the city girl gone country won Jake over and she received the first rose of the night.
Back at camp, the ladies find out who's going on the group date and who's stuck with the dreaded two on one date, where one girl must go home. Unfortunately for Ella and Kathryn...they would be having the threesome, but they would have to wait until after Jake takes the other ladies for a ride on the beach. Not the kind of ride they were expecting however...instead they go dune bug racing and sand surfing. Jake wanted to see how the ladies handled getting "dirty". I don't know how you're supposed to be sexy with sand in your face and down your pants...but these ladies certainly tried. Afterwards, he took the ladies to a fabulous inn that looked a little bit like Pink Panther threw up inside, but it was definitely nicer than the RV and gave the ladies an opportunity to clean up for Jake. As usual, Vienna managed to irritate all of the women by demanding that she receive the last one on one time. Ashleigh should have asked to go later...maybe she would have rethought her strategy to hump Jake's leg in the aqua room. It was very uncomfortable to watch. Then Jake grilled Tenley about her divorce and the fact that she hadn't dated anyone since...but then he kissed her and all was better with the world. During Vienna’s one on one time, Jake tried to warn her about her mouth and bringing the heat on herself. He couldn't help "pumping the brakes" a bit with her. The other ladies had been throwing up a few too many red flags for him to ignore. He decided to give the date rose to Tenley. Corrie and Jessie didn't even get camera time at the mansion. I guess their one on one time was too boring to show on television.
Kathryn and Ella had to duke things out at Big Sur for their survival. Unfortunately for Kathryn, Ella completely dominated the date and didn't leave Kathryn much time to make a good impression. However, Jake decided that he couldn't keep Ella away from her son, if he wasn't absolutely sure that he could see a future with her...and when he was truly honest with himself, he realized that the answer was no. He took her outside on the porch to let her know that it was time for her to take a ride in the limo. Kathryn sat inside confident that she had won the rose, but to everyone's surprise, Jake decided to send her home too! It was quite shocking considering that he had just finished telling her that he kept getting lost in her eyes...is that some kind of code for “You're boring the crap out of me”? Apparently so!
Meanwhile, the other ladies sat around the campfire roasting marshmallows as they watched both sets of luggage being hauled away and realize that only one of them would now be eliminated at the rose ceremony...or so they thought! Later that night, the ladies did their best to try to sabotage Vienna's chances to continue on the show, but instead it backfired and poor Jessie, who was barely even on the show, got the boot. But Jake didn't stop there. He had Chris Harrison take away one of his roses, because he couldn't stand the thought of another date with Ashleigh either. Apparently throwing yourself at men and tattling on other women are not traits that Jake is looking for in his future wife. The final rose went to Vienna. Despite everyone's attempt to vote her off the island...she survived.
Tune in next week as the final five fight for their place at the altar with Jake...who knows...the way he's kicking people off, next week could be the Finale!