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"Bachelor" Blog: No one is really winning!

by Christie Humphries

kvue.com

Posted on January 23, 2012 at 11:06 PM

Updated Tuesday, Jan 31 at 10:43 AM

I don’t know why Courtney chose “Winning!” as her catch phrase for the night. I’m not sure that I would want to identify myself with someone like Charlie Sheen on a dating show. He’s not exactly a role model for ever-lasting love.

You want to know who is not winning? That would be Samantha. She didn’t even make it to the end of the group date before Ben decided he’d had enough of her whining and emotional outbursts. Poor thing. It was kind of painful to watch her squirm as Ben tried to explain to her why he didn’t want to take her on a one-on-one date. She tried to interrupt him several times as if to say, “Stop…ok, I’m sorry…nevermind…can we rewind? Please don’t ask me to leave.” But it was too late. Oh well, that’s one less girl for Courtney to run over on her way to the top.

Rule number one of the "The Bachelor" is that no one who has ever “won” this show has tattled. So if you feel like you HAVE to tell Ben the truth about the other girls, because you CARE SO MUCH about his feelings, plan on not making it to the fantasy suite. With that said, I believe I caught Courtney saying, “I’m nice,” followed by, “I want to rip her head off and verbally assault her.” I’m sorry, but no one that I would ever consider to be a “nice” person would ever use the phrase “rip your head off."

I feel bad that Emily will probably get kicked off the show eventually for trying to warn Ben, but I do agree with her. It’s how she handled herself that is a little embarrassing. If you’re going to dish it out sweetheart, you have to be able to take it. Maybe you should have spent less time in the bathroom with Blakeley trying to cover up your roots and more time trying to cover up your insecurities.

I love how all of the women talk about how special they feel that Ben planned these dates for them. I’m sorry ladies, but I’m pretty sure the producer and/or the sponsors chose where you were going on your dates. You think Park City, Utah was on the top of Ben’s list? I’m pretty sure it wasn’t on Jennifer’s. I haven’t been on a lot of fantasy dates…or any...but I can say that none of my dates ever made me repel into an abyss and dropped me 300 feet into a dark pool below to prove my love to them, but then again maybe that’s what’s been missing. This show is so ridiculous. Ben described Jennifer as outdoorsy and a good kisser. What exactly has she been kissing in the outdoors?

And finally there’s Rachel, who has the voice of a woman who’s been smoking for 40 years. So of course Ben takes her up in the helicopter to get her some oxygen. They spent the day on a remote lake in the mountains having minimal conversation and chemistry. If you have to shout out, “There’s a beaver dam!” and you can’t even get a laugh or spark a few questions like, “How exactly do you know what a beaver dam looks like?” or “Are you a big fan of beavers?” then clearly your date is a dud. But Ben decides that he just can’t give up on her. He takes her back to the cabin, sits her down in front of the fire, and drags her insecurities and flaws out of her so that he can find them endearing.

The only other girl to be sent home tonight was Monica, but then again we all knew that Lesbian thing from the first night was going to catch up to her. You can’t spend more time on the couch holding hands with the ladies than you do with your man.

I’m not quite sure where this season of "The Bachelor" is going, but I’m glad they’re getting the hell out of Utah. I think the Mormons have seen enough!

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