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Michelle Week on The Bachelor

by Christie Humphries

Posted on January 25, 2011 at 1:17 AM

Updated Tuesday, Jan 25 at 1:24 AM

From start to finish this week, it was a non-stop display of Michelle, her black eye, and her craziness. I'm guessing she actually punched herself in the eye while sleeping just to make sure that all of the attention was on her no matter what. The girls seemed relieved that she did it herself so that they didn't have to.

I honestly don't know what is wrong with that girl. Most of her on-camera quotes this week were acts of violence or threats:

"There is a really good chance that if I (Michelle) don't get a date this week...Brad might get his own black eye."

"I don't like being compared to Chantal. I don't think that I am even kind of like her. It's freaking me out... I don't think I can handle it and I don't think that I'm handling it very well (no kidding). I seriously think I beat myself up in the middle of the night...I wake up with heartburn, I don't sleep, I don't eat...If Chantal comes home tonight...we all need to watch out."

"Okay listen ladies...things are gonna change around here...the competition has begun...start packing your's been really great knowing all of you...bye."

"If I don't get a rose, because Brad was still dealing with Ashley H's issues...I would elbow Ashely H. in the face." "These girls better watch out. Nothing is going to stop me today."

I'm sure those ladies wish they had been on Michelle's date, so they could have pushed her off that skyscraper. By the way…what's the deal with conquering fears on this show? I'll give it to Michelle that repelling down a building is much scarier than going underwater on Chantal's date. I'll take snorkeling in a helmet over falling to my death any day. But I don't understand why the show keeps forcing people to do these dangerous feats...I guess it works...It brought Jillian and Ed together and it brought Jake and Vienna together, but both of those relationships failed. Maybe ABC should stick to old fashioned roasting marshmallows like Brad and Emily did on their date. Much less dangerous and there's no need for additional insurance.

So back to Michelle…she was super pissed when Ashley H.'s emotional breakdown cut into her one on one date with Brad. She threw a little hissy fit as usually. I was quite proud of Chantal for putting her in her place. What bothers me is that Brad doesn’t see any of this. He still thinks Michelle is a normal chick that he can see himself building a life with. I think he’s thinking with the wrong part of his anatomy.

Chantal O. on the other hand had a wonderful date that she almost ruined with her insecurity and insane amount of blush, but there was "absolutely no doubt about" Brad's feelings for her and he did his best to reassure her that she had nothing to worry about. But the other girls were not so lucky. They were a mess! If they weren't crying or trying to steal time away from one another, they were throwing themselves at him and begging him to prove to them that they were special. Ashley H. kept grunting in was so not attractive. Sometimes these women make me embarrassed to be a woman. Suck it up ladies! They should all read a couple chapters in Emily's book of class.

There weren’t too many surprises during the rose ceremony other than Lisa getting a rose. I know what you’re thinking…”Who’s Lisa?” Right?! I don’t think that girl has spoken in the last 3 episodes. She’s a cute girl, but I could have confused her with a crew member. She’s never on camera. Girl better step it up next week if she expects to stick around.

Special thanks to Meghan for one of the most awkward exits ever. What was that? Were you running? Dancing? Power Walking? Did you trip and start to fall so you just went with it? So strange and yet so awesome at the same time. Thank you for ending the show on a high note.

Tune in next week as the girls cry it out in Vegas. It's sure to be a good time!