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Lonely in Paradise

Lonely in Paradise

by Christie Humphries

kvue.com

Posted on July 19, 2010 at 11:33 PM

Updated Monday, Jul 19 at 11:34 PM

I'm so glad Frank managed to get his free trip to Tahiti before telling Ali that he was in love with another woman.  I'm sure it was a welcome change from Chicago where he ran off to chase after his ex-girlfriend Nicole. She had obviously been held up in her apartment watching Jerry McGuire all these months, wondering when Frank would come back to complete her.

Roberto on the other hand was enjoying his time in Tahiti.  He was so excited to see Ali, he had pit stains.   Nothing says I love you like a sweaty man hug!  If Ali can handle the face plant into his arm pit, then she must really love him.  They spent their day on a private island in a heart shaped lagoon frolicking in the sand and their night enjoying dinner by candlelight.  Roberto took advantage of his alone time to open up and tell Ali that he was falling in love with her.  And with that...Ali whips out the "let's get it on" card.  They waded their way across the lagoon to their fantasy suite, where it became imperative that they get out of those wet clothes and spend some special alone time together.  The lights dim...and you know what happens after that.

Chris and Ali spend the following day on a pimped out catamaran, kicking back drinking some beers and giggling.  "It's so cute!" as Ali likes to say.  They dock off the coast and swim back to the island together...or at least until Chris could touch bottom.  Then he carried her the rest of the way.  On the beach, they discovered that the oysters along the shore had a little surprise for them...Tahitian pearls!  Bonus!  I guess Ali was so tired from looking for a perfect set to make earrings, that she decided not to dress up for dinner.  Roberto got a low cut cocktail dress.  Chris got draw string pants and a tank top.  I guess it's hard to sit on the beach in a dress, but Chris didn't seem to mind.  He was falling for her.  A few sweet words from Chris and she was ready to give him the fantasy suite card too. I loved his reaction to the fantasy suite.  He seemed so shocked that there could be one...aren't they all fantasy suites?... is what I was thinking.  But once they walked in, I could see that Chris' fantasy suite kicked Roberto's @s$.  I think the producers may have been trying to push Ali in Chris' direction or they were trying to lessen the blow that she was about to take when Frank arrived.

Frank made his grand entrance on a boat with his backpack and a very large suitcase, which seemed a bit much for me considering he was planning to dump Ali and leave.  Maybe he thought ABC would foot the bill for him to stick around a few extra days if he cried enough and created enough drama to raise the ratings.  I was kind of hoping Chris Harrison would punch him and throw him in the lagoon and tell him to swim home without ever letting him see Ali.  But I guess I'm glad he had to suffer through hurting her and deal with it face to face.  I struggle to find the words to even describe how I feel about Frank.  He's like the guy I dated in college who gave me $2 and told me to go get us a beer so we could share it.  I thought to myself...oh yeah...I knew there was something about you I didn't like.  But with Frank, he's not cheap, he's just weak.  His voice is like a dripping faucet...you want to shut it off, but you can still hear it in your head long after it stops.  He's a poor excuse for a man and a good example of why Ali should have stuck with her first impression and gone home with Roberto the first night.

Tune in next week as Ali's entire family flies to Tahiti to meet Chris and Ali's future husband Roberto.  Sorry, I just don't see poor Chris winning out in the end.

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