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Island Fantasy

Island Fantasy

by Christie Humphries

kvue.com

Posted on February 15, 2010 at 10:47 PM

Updated Tuesday, Feb 16 at 10:44 PM

I don’t know about you, but I feel like taking a vacation to St. Lucia. I don’t necessarily want to go with Jake and his 3 groupies, but maybe with that English Bachelor, Matt.  He broke up with Lorenzo Lamas’ daughter, so he’s back on the market right? And who doesn’t like a beach vacation…okay, I’ll stop dreaming…maybe I’ll just have a Pina Colada at Red Lobster.

Jake’s first date on the island was with Gia. They took a boat ride into town to buy some fresh produce in the market for a picnic. While shopping, Jake bought a necklace for Gia , which she later put on her wrist. I kind of took that as a sign that she didn’t really like the necklace, but didn’t really want to tell Jake. She played it off well by telling him that she wears her heart on her sleeve, so that’s where she wanted to wear Jake’s necklace. But it kind of reminded me of the Sex and The City episode where Carrie wears her engagement ring on a chain around her neck. I took it as a sign that she was hesitant about her feelings for Jake or at least his taste in jewelry. Thankfully, the bubble bath and rose peddles loosened her up a bit.   That Fantasy Suite really has a way of making things all better.
Tenley and Jake shared a little helicopter ride and a picnic in the rainforest. She also got a chance to tell us more about her divorce and her ex-husband…because God knows we haven’t heard enough about him. She and Jake proved once again that they have a million things in common…traveling, dancing, values, and the need to forget about her ex.  I know she says that she has put it to rest, but she certainly talks about it a lot for someone who is supposed to be completely over it. They had a lovely little poolside dance…without music, where Jake showed Tenley that he could lead. They expressed their love of dancing and kissing and dipping…so sickeningly sweet. Her baby voice just annoys me more than anything. Can’t she just talk normal once in a while? Especially when they are alone in the fantasy suite…doesn’t she have a sexy voice or a serious voice? I feel like she’s about ready to congratulate him for being able to go potty all by himself. I just don’t see how that voice can get someone turned on.  Oh well, at least she was smart enough to accept the overnight invitation. You know that no one ever survives if they say no. I’m sure they had a great time lying in bed half naked holding hands.
Vienna on the other hand…no doubt she can be a freak. It probably worked in her favor that her date was after Tenley’s. They took a ride on a pirate ship. I love that he made her walk the plank and then pushed her off. He should have left her in the water and taken off. There is very little I find appealing about that girl, let alone her large green lizard tattoo or whatever it is. She just oozes class. The other Hooters’ girls back home must be so proud!

I don’t think it was necessary for Chris Harrison to give them a fantasy suite card. I think we all knew that was a sure thing. I got sick at my stomach when he started talking to her about rings. It just makes me believe that he really is going to pick her in the end. Even though he admits that he has feelings for the other girls, he seems to open up to Vienna more than anyone. She also managed to shed a tear when she told him that she was she in LOVE with him and I’m pretty sure that sealed the deal…that and her white see through lingerie from Target. She really leaves nothing to the imagination.
To complicate things more, Ali decided to call Jake and tell him that she was a mess and knows that she made the wrong decision and really wants to come back.   Jake has a hard time processing his thoughts….oh wait…how about NO! See that was easy. He made sure to let her know how bad he felt about it, but ultimately, he had already gotten down and dirty with the other girls and couldn’t imagine bringing Ali back after she had walked away. I think she should have been thrilled. I think she did make the right decision and his telling her not to come to St. Lucia proved it. If he had any true feelings for her at all, he would have given her a second chance.
In preparation for the rose ceremony, Jake had a chance to view the ever so special “pick me” videos. Jake said he was in love with all three of them, yet somehow he managed to send Gia home. I guess he just didn’t love her enough or he didn’t think she loved him as much as the other two. Maybe he just believes that he’ll have better luck with a girl who’s already been down the aisle. They already know what to do and what to say. Since they have already been married, they can show him how to do it. They can also show him how to get a divorce, if it doesn’t work out. Which, if he does pick Vienna, is pretty much a sure thing.
Gia managed to smile through her tears as Jake told her to set the bar high in her next relationship. Yes Gia…please do. Shoot for a guy who would choose you over a former Hooter’s girl and a dancer who played Ariel in The Little Mermaid.
I’m looking forward to my favorite episode of the season, “The Women Tell All”. Next week is sure to be entertaining.

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