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Fortune Cookie Says...The Road Ends Here

Fortune Cookie Says...The Road Ends Here

by Christie Humphries

kvue.com

Posted on February 1, 2010 at 10:41 PM

Updated Monday, Feb 1 at 10:59 PM

I can't decide whether I'm more upset that Vienna is still on the show and I now have to look at her and her really bad hair extensions for another week or if I'm just mad that he cut Corrie and she's the only one with a sense of humor, which makes me feel less like I'm completely wasting two hours of my life every Monday.  Either way...this means next week will be tough to watch.

Speaking of things that are tough...I'm having a tough time with Tenley's voice.  Does it have to be that high pitched?  Does she think sounding like a prepubescent girl will somehow make Jake forget that she's a wounded divorcee?  I don't know, but there are dogs everywhere that are covering their ears.  Now don't get me wrong...of all the women left, I definitely think Tenley is the best match for Jake.  They are very cute together.  Their little trip to Chinatown and their matching fortune cookies really sealed the deal for me.  They are equally annoying and equally endearing at the same time.  Perfect for each other I say, but I have a feeling Jake is going to screw things up for himself and choose the wrong girl.

On his two on one date with Gia and Vienna, Jake had to decide who would be the third wheel.  He didn't have to wait too long for Vienna to overpower the conversation and leave Gia in the background.  Luckily for Gia, Jake noticed that she was being distant and took her away for some one on one time.  Now before I move on, I have to say, this winery/castle/vineyard/hotel in Napa was amazing!!!  I have no idea how much it must cost to stay there, but I want to go.  Not with Jake and his creepy girlfriend, Vienna, stalking me through the hallways, but maybe with some friends or a guy who's not dating four other women.  That would be cool.  Now, back to Gia's alone time.  They were rudely interrupted by Vienna, who just couldn't leave them alone.  She had to go looking for her Jake.  She couldn't bare the thought of being by herself in the creepy castle.  In fact, she snuck out of her room that night to try to speed things up and get some pre-fantasy suite action down in Jake's room.  But, Jake thought it was inappropriate and didn't want to ruin things with Gia just yet, so he sent her back to her room without her dignity...not that she had any to begin with.

The next one on one date went to Corrie.  Their date was a little different in that Jake and Corrie had never kissed, so most of the date consisted of them just staring at each other waiting for someone to make the first move.  You see Corrie was looking for Jake to go 90% and her to go 10% and Jake was looking to go 80% and her to go 20%, so they were off by 10%, which made the date very boring.  When no action occurred in the park or on the row boat, Jake decided to spice things up by taking her to an aquarium to look at fish.  Well you can only imagine how excited Jake was to find out that it wasn't that Corrie didn't find him attractive, it was just that she was a VIRGIN with values and felt it was best to wait until she got to know him, before tonguing him down in public.  So now that they were in private and had put their cards out on the table, they could finally kiss...goodbye.

The final date of the night was with Ali.  Since they were in Ali's town, she decided to give Jake a tour of "her city", San Francisco.  I have to say...I've only been to San Fran one time and it was cold and rainy and I hated it, but Ali's version was much better.  It was beautiful!  They went for a walk in her neighborhood, he bought her flowers on the street, and they played soccer and gave each other back rubs in the park...so sweet.  And it ended with Jake trying to get Ali to talk about why she hates Vienna so much, but she didn't take the bait.  She said she was over it...as are the rest of us.

The rose ceremony was pretty obvious.  Guys never keep the girl who waits five weeks to kiss them.  In this case, the VIRGIN card could have been the exception to the rule, but then again, this is Jake, he's not smart enough to see the benefit of keeping a good girl around.  He would prefer to keep making bad decisions so he can continue his self-fulfilling prophecy of "good guys finish last". 

Tune in next week to see if Vienna's family is as bad as she is. 

 

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