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A Little Bit Taller

A Little Bit Taller

by Christie Humphries

kvue.com

Posted on July 12, 2010 at 11:47 PM

Updated Tuesday, Jul 13 at 3:48 PM

I think that Kirk should have been able to opt out of the hometown date. At the very least, he should have been allowed to call rent-o-family and borrow some normal people who wouldn’t screw things up for him. His dad is not a man of many words…but he managed to make out “Hey Ali…wanna go see my basement?” In general…that is never the start to anything good. I couldn’t even concentrate during Ali’s one on one talk with Kirk’s dad, because there was a hairless squirrel perched above her shoulder. It was just plain creepy. I think hunting and trophies are one thing, but skinning small woodland animals for decoration is not really my thing. He also reminded me of someone and then I realized who it was….the dad on The Addam’s Family! I’m sure Cousin It was in that basement somewhere as well. I kept thinking that his mom must be extremely good looking for Kirk to turn out so hot….sadly not the case. In her defense…the adult braces, blue eyeliner and hot pink lipstick did not help, but she did seem normal. I could only pray that those cheesy potatoes she made were so amazing that Ali couldn’t live without them. Otherwise, Kirk had no hope of surviving.

It had to be hard to compete with Roberto’s hometown date. I’m always a sucker for a guy in a uniform…especially a hot baseball player.  Ali obviously felt the same. He took her out to his college baseball field to catch some fly balls and even gave her a baseball card of himself from when he played ball for her hometown team. It was like a sign that they were meant to be together…or a really cheap gift. Hopefully it came with a stick of gum. Overall his family was beautiful and welcoming to Ali. I could see her making herself at home in Tampa. He is the “fairytale guy she never thought she deserved” and now she’s rounding the bases and taking him home.
Chris’ hometown date was very sweet. It’s hard not to fall in love with a guy whose family has been through such a terrible loss. He is so open and vulnerable. I wanted to reach out and give him a hug. His family seemed a bit protective…and rightly so. They don’t want to see him endure any additional pain, but they are open to love and to the idea of bringing Ali into their family. Hopefully it’s not too little too late to find the sparks that Ali is looking for.
Frank of course was overdramatic and made things awkward as usually with his insecurity. I always have to rewind the show, because I somehow subconsciously block out the sound of his voice. It’s like white noise. I have to play it back and concentrate to actually hear what he is saying. He’s so annoying. I really struggle to see the attraction. I would rather listen to Kirk’s dad talk about what’s hiding in his freezer than listen to Frank talk about his relationship with Ali. At least his family had some personality and a sense of humor. I guess you have to when your 30 year old son is living at home with you. Maybe he’s saving for Lasik. I was really surprised to hear Ali say that she could see herself winding up with Frank in the end. Is she blind or just stupid? Where are they going to live? She already gave up her apartment in San Francisco. What are they going to do…get bunk beds? Not likely.
Sadly, there was really no hope for Kirk. I might have been a little more surprised had ABC not already shown a million promos of Ali in Tahiti with Frank. So we knew he was going to make it. Roberto was a no brainer. That only left Kirk and Chris. When in doubt…go with taller.
On a side note…Why is ABC bringing back Dating in the Dark? Seriously…couldn’t we come up with anything better than that? I would have at least changed the name to “Who Farted?”. Thank goodness they create “Bachelor Pad” to redeem themselves…that one I will watch.

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