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A Lifetime of Adventures with Myself

by Christie Humphries

kvue.com

Posted on July 19, 2011 at 12:11 AM

Well we have finally made it to the final four! Ames, JP, and the twins have one last shot to win Ashley’s heart with some hometown cooking! Constantine wastes no time at all. He knows that the way to a woman’s heart is through her stomach…or at least he knows that works for men so why not Ashley. He takes her to his Italian Eatery to have some fresh baked pizza pies….even though he’s actually Greek. Constantine’s family was full of energy and apparently dough as his uncle money bags was throwing around dollar dollar bills yo! As they danced around the room, kicking up their heels, he made it rain…and I think those were 20’s! He spared no expense to win Ashley over. It’s hard not to love a family who enjoys good food, good drinks, good dancing, and a bribe. Next Ashley took off to visit Constantine’s twin brother Ben at the winery. I have to say…it’s always a good start to a hometown date when you show the woman you love your endless supply of vino. And a couple bottles in, she won’t remember those other guy’s names anyway. I had a really hard time not liking Ben. I tear up just thinking about him saying that he missed his dad. I get emotional when I drink too. I think Ben should give all the guys a bottle of wine as a parting gift. It would be a nice gesture. I think we should all get one actually for sticking with the show this season. And then there’s Ames. What can I say about Ames? He’s Ames. I’ve never really met anyone quite like him, nor has Ashley apparently because that is all she can ever say about him. He is different…he is unique…he is an ordinary romantic. You have to dig a little deeper to uncover the whole Ames…the whole Ameschilada I like to say. He’s like an onion just waiting for someone to peel back the layers to find more Ames underneath. As much as I joke….I’d probably date him. Then again, my only requirements for dating are that there is a mutual attraction, they have a job, and they are nice to me. I’m pretty sure Ames is the kind of guy who would be a great father, he would never cheat, he would take great care of his family, and he will never….never stop smiling…even when he’s trying to figure out why he just got dumped. Last but not least is my favorite man JP. What could be more romantic than a day at the roller skating disco and a night of listening to your family talk about your last painful breakup? It’s bad enough that JP has to stand next to Ben and Constantine every week and think to himself, “Do I have enough hair to make it to the final rose?” But now he has to have his family go on and on about how hard he got dumped. Thank God his mom brought out the bar mitzvah photo to show Ashley that he really has a great head of Kirk Cameron hair hiding beneath that shaved exterior. Ashley decided to reveal to JP’s mom that she was smitten with her son. He may be the heart break kid…but Ashley’s willing to pick up the pieces. Sadly, we had to watch Ames leave the show this week. He was like a robot, programmed to say just the right thing and leave with grace…doomed to live a lifetime of adventures with himself. Poor dude…I’ll go to Thailand with you. I won’t even make you get your butt kicked and almost kill yourself on national television. Once was enough. Tune in next week as Jake and Vienna give Ashley some advise on lasting relationships….oh wait that was just a promo for The Bachelor Pad.

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