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Week Two: Heartbreak Brad

by vrose

Posted on October 2, 2007 at 11:04 AM

Updated Friday, Oct 23 at 1:30 PM

I think we have all learned an important lesson from this week’s The Bachelor. When things don’t seem to be going your way…take your top off! It certainly worked for Solisa.

Concerned Bachelorettes.JPG

What doesn’t work? Falling down the stairs. Poor Michele from New Jersey took a stumble and she was down for the count. I think she made it even easier for Brad to cut her by taking her only one on one time to give him the “I’m old and I need to hurry up and have babies talk”. Seriously Michele, you’re 30! He’s 34. Did you really think pointing out that you were the oldest one there was the best way to secure your place in the house? You were the only one who was even close to his own age. Don’t make him feel old. Make him feel young. Take body shots off of him. Take his shirt off. That’s what worked for the other girls. Oh and try to make out with him while he’s in the middle of a sentence, he thinks that’s hilarious…as did I.

Sloppy seconds this week went to Jenny, who actually got the first “real” kiss from Brad. Though I was disappointed that she was still wearing a headband in this week’s episode, I think she’s holding onto her lead. She should however lose the heart-shaped earrings and the modeling book that upset so many of the bachelorettes this week.

Jade doesn’t like to name names, but she certainly likes to talk behind everyone’s back and go through their stuff when they’re not looking. She seems like a real winner! That must be why she got a rose. I’m hoping that in the future Brad can see through her purple eye shadow and bad hair and realize that she’s not there to further her career…she doesn’t have one. I mean boutique sales…really?! What is that? You sell boutiques…you sell stuff in boutiques…you like when boutiques have sales? Yeah me too, but I wouldn’t list that as my career. I hope he gives her the boot.

This week Brad took the ladies on two separate group dates. The first was to the Del Mar Race Track. I can’t remember much about this date other than San Diego Charger’s line backer, Shawn Phillips, who busted in to give all the ladies baby T’s. Yeah, I know, I thought that was strange too. The second group date was to the beach house. This is where we finally get a chance to see all of the ladies in their bathing suits, doing cart wheels on the beach, and trying really hard to convince Brad that they are all good Christian girls who just like to have fun in a completely non-slutty kind of way. The best line from the show was Brad’s comment to Solisa after taking a body shot off of her stomach…”way to be a shot glass”! Bravo Solisa! You have once again proven that sometimes all you have to be is hot to get a rose.

Being hot however, did not work for Mallory, the 24 year old nanny from Honolulu. Seriously, we all know you got that job off the internet. Brad kept her around after week one for having the guts to jump in the pool, but she killed it for herself this week when she told Brad that her ideal day would include doing something outside… like water color or reading. I just don’t think she’s very smart and apparently Brad wasn’t impressed either.

The only other girl who was cut was Erin. She really didn’t get much face time in this week’s show, but I always thought of her as the kind of girl who keeps her high school cheerleading uniform in her closet and tries it on from time to time just to see if it still fits. However, she handled her exit with a lot of class, so I have to give her some props for that.

Next week, Brad brings his identical twin brother Chad on the show to see who is truly a complete idiot. I mean they look alike, but not that much alike. I can’t wait to see how many will be fooled.