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Do you believe in Magic?

by Chumphries

Posted on May 27, 2008 at 2:39 AM

Updated Friday, Oct 23 at 1:30 PM

Well one thing DeAnna does not believe in is good looking virgins. Poor Ryan. He may have been voted the friendliest person in his 8th grade class, but last night he was voted least likely to succeed. As he put it, you can't fit a square peg in a round hole...honestly it doesn't sound like Ryan knows much about how to use a peg at all! I think DeAnna is better off without him. He seems like the kind of guy who still has his childhood football trophies displayed in his bedroom up on a shelf along with his virginity. I'm afraid it may be difficult for anyone to live up to his expectations.

The twist to this season's Bachelorette is that each week three guys get to live in the mansion with DeAnna. The others are forced to live in the guest house on bunk beds and deal with outdoor plumbing. Jeremy, Jesse, and Richard received the first impression roses last week, so they get to move into the big house and get to know DeAnna on a personal level. The other guys have to make the walk of shame down to the guest house.

The first group date takes place in a creepy magic castle where the guys are forced to do retarded magic tricks to capture DeAnna's attention. If I were her, I would have gotten into that box alone and disappeared by myself...maybe gone for a deep tissue massage or something. Anything would have been less painful than that entire experience.

I can't figure out why she keeps Sean (AKA The Mullet) around. Their one on one time on the red velvet love seat was so awkward. All he seemed to want to talk about was his martial arts and karate. that all you got?! I was half expecting him to whip out his Cobra Kai black belt and swipe someone's leg to get a rose. Even the phantom piano was annoyed.

She actually gave the group date rose to Paul, formerly known as the embroidered underpants guy. Paul, now known as NO PANTS GUY, was the first guy to strip down naked and give the outdoor shower a try. I'm not sure what it is that DeAnna sees in him, but I guess if she's really looking for a guy who's willing to put it all out there, he certainly does that.

Graham got the only one on one date with DeAnna. This had to be the most boring date ever! They spent the first half of the date trying to learn how to fly a kite and the second half trying to have a meaningful conversation. Seriously...if the conversation is that forced, I don't think it matters how hot the guy is, you need to let him go. But, I don't think DeAnna really cared...she just wanted to kiss him. She said from the beginning that he was totally her type and lets face it...we always give the hot guys a second chance.

The one guy you have to feel sorry for is Twilley. Not just because he has a hideous name and made a complete fool out of himself at the magic mansion, but for trying to fix his mistakes by stalking the poor girl. I thought he was a goner for sure after that, but DeAnna proved once again how bad her judgment is by keeping him around. Who knows...maybe she has a thing for peeping toms.

The last group date took place at Dodgers stadium, where she got a little love advise from none other than Tommy Lasorda. As he put it, there's not a really good looking guy in the bunch and apparently none of them can sing either. Once he determined that looks and talent were out, he decided that the only way to truly determine who had the strength to go all the way with DeAnna was to have a home run hitting contest. Believe it or not, Jeremy, the skinniest guy on the field, hit 6 home runs to win some alone time with DeAnna.

I have to say that I don't normally get really emotional watching this show, but I couldn't help getting a little watery eyed as Jeremy talked about losing his parents. I have a feeling his dad might have been there with him that day helping him to swing that bat. I think he may be the front runner after this week's Bachelorette.

The other two guys that got kicked off this week were Eric, who apparently has nothing to offer other than his Greekness, and Chris who sang the worst version of the national anthem ever. Ryan, Eric and Chris all took their exits pretty hard, but not nearly as hard as DeAnna, who had to leave the room in tears after telling them goodbye. I guess she's finding out that this whole Bachelorette thing isn't as easy as it looks.

Tune in next week as ELLEN gives DeAnna some advise on men...this should be interesting?!