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Eleven Dudes in a Hot Tub

by Chumphries

kvue.com

Posted on June 2, 2009 at 12:09 AM

Updated Friday, Oct 23 at 1:30 PM

This week's episode begins with a one on one date where Jillian attempts to kill Ben, by throwing him off of a building...well sort of. Ed and Jillian take off in a helicopter and land on a rooftop in downtown Los Angeles, where Jillian explains to Ben that the only way they can get down is to attach themselves to a rip line and slide down 20 some stories to a pool below. Ed was a little scared to say the least, but tried to be a good sport. He did however tell her while dangling thousands of feet in the air, "You better give me a rose for this!"

Once on the ground and safely in the pool, Jillian gets a chance to re-enact her famous hot tub scene with Ed...the PG version, but that didn't stop the camera man from going underwater to try and catch some hanky panky going on. Apparently one roof top was not enough for this date. Jillian drags Ed back on top of a building for dinner, where Ed explains that when it comes to Karaoke, it's not about being good, it's about thinking your good. I think that applies in a lot of aspect of dating.

They both tried to say that the reason they are single is because they have both focused too much time on their careers, but I think people always put focus on their careers when there is no one in their life worth making an exception for. The rest of the date went something like this, "I like your eyes...no I like your eyes. Here is a rose...I want to get to know you better...and make out with you some more." I think they make a pretty cute couple. She may not be sure whether or not he's the one, but my money is on Ed to make at least the top 3.

The Wild West group date got pretty competitive. As Wes said, "11 people is a lot of people". It was crowded on set as the boys played a little game of sloppy seconds, thirds, fourths, and fifths. Brad actually kissed her like he was making out with his sister. He just stood there with his arms frozen at his sides. The guys actually pointed and laughed. It was a little embarrassing to watch. Robbie however, stole the show with his kiss of the day...kind of the old grab and twirl...but better and more romantic. He earned his rose.

Wes pulled Jillian away from the other guys for a little chat to let her know that he was getting jealous and a bit grossed out that she was making out with everyone. He even told her that he was only going to kiss her on the cheek because he wanted to wait until later to give her a real kiss...you know...after you've brushed your teeth, so I don't have to taste all those other dudes. He didn't actually say that. He just made a hand motion around his face like...clean that up.

I don't understand why Mike and Michael had to play a gay couple. Maybe ABC was trying to make sure that the show was appealing to all audiences, but these guys are trying to win Jillian's heart. Though they did a pretty good job recreating the scene, I don't think this helped bring either one of them closer to Jillian.

The wrap party at the Hollywood loft gave the guys one last chance to take shots and sword fight over Jillian in the gang hot tub. Juan tried to defend the reasons why the guys in the house tried to vote him off the island, Robbie got a chance to re-enact his award winning kiss, which won him the rose, and Tanner P. came close to getting the foot he always wanted. Head to toe...best group date ever!

Sasha received the final one on one date and it was every boy's fantasy... a private photo shoot in the auto museum and a ride around town in a Ferrari. He really opened up to her and told her about a horrible car accident he was in that almost took his life. At first, I was sure that Sasha had won Jillian's heart. I had no idea that she was about to break his. She was more concerned that he had never been heartbroken. She seems to have this theory that only someone who's been heartbroken can truly fall in love. I think she was also concerned by his unicorn comment. I don't think she thought she could live up to a mythical beast. I'd like to be Sasha's "mythical unicorn". I wouldn't have expected to hear those words from a guy nor do I know exactly what that means, but if Jillian is too afraid to take a ride...sign me up. She's crazy for letting that boy go. I think she needs to get over her insecurities. She missed out on a good one there.

Jillian was pretty sad when she returned from the date, so Wes decided to cheer her up with a little song he wrote called "Being a Cheese Ball Don't Come Easy". He stood beneath her balcony like they were Romeo and Jillian and started playing his guitar. Of course she let him up to console her, but she barely got a hug in before he pulled back to break into his song...again. I swear someone needs to take that guitar away from that boy. It's charming once...but it's just annoying at this point.

Tanner P's little impression of Wes playing the guitar was priceless. Not as priceless as him letting us know that he wanted to suck Jillian's toes...but priceless. He's not a break dancer, he's not a musician, he's just a normal guy who has a need for some feet. I don't think I could have kept him around, but maybe deep down Jillian likes a foot man.

I'm really starting to think that David has issues. I'd kind of like to see a fight between Juan and David, but it's hard to take his threats seriously when he's wearing a mauve tie. He is such a jerk. I secretly think he has a thing for Juan and he's acting out in anger because he doesn't know how to deal with his emotions...either that or he wasn't hugged enough as a child. Either way, Jillian should have let him go.

Chris Harrison steals Jillian away and drags her to the wall of crappy photos. I think it would be funny if she had to smash the frames of the guys that she was cutting or took them down one by one, stared at them for a second and said, "ummmm no" and through them over her shoulder. But no, we have to sit through another oh so dramatic rose ceremony.

Jake the pilot, Reed the soft kisser, Mark...., Jesse..., Tanner P. the foot man, Wes the music maker, Juan in a million, Michael Sir Dance A Lot, Kiptyn gives me butterflies, Michael Speedo man, and David anger management all get roses.

Brad did not. Let's face it, he's a nice guy, but clearly the least attractive man in the house and a bad kisser. I think he could have hung on if he'd had a great personality or amazing charm, but vanilla just doesn't cut it. He's planning to be a drifter, like the one he played on set, because he doesn't feel like anyone will ever get him...maybe he should find his sister or a second cousin.

And finally Tanner F. had to go... because there can only be one....TANNER! Sorry...that's a Highlander reference for those of you who are unfamiliar.

Tune in next week to see another outburst from David and another rendition of Wes' crappy song. Can't wait!

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