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Vancouver Nights

by Chumphries

kvue.com

Posted on June 9, 2009 at 3:05 AM

Updated Friday, Oct 23 at 1:30 PM

This week begins with a special trip to Jillian's hometown of Vancouver. She apparently doesn't want to wait until the end of the season like everyone else. She wants to see if they can handle the truth now. All thirteen guys get to see what Canada and Jillian are all about.

Once arriving in Vancouver, Jillian greets the guys at some fancy hotel and tells them that this is where they will be living. It was quite a step up from the bunk house that most of them were living in back in LA. Michael was so excited that he decided to show off his striped hoodie! You're killing me dude. Chris Harrison explained that this week, there would be a one on one date, a group date, and the dreaded two on one date, where one of the guys would definitely be going home.

Kiptyn wins the one on one date with Jillian. She decides to take him kayak racing on a freezing cold river, where he is forced to let her win in order to look like a gentleman, followed by a trip to the market. She decides to "cook up some love" in the kitchen...otherwise known as pasta salad. My favorite part was when Kiptyn goes for the old reach around in the kitchen. You could tell she got a little excited. Oh he's kissing my neck, how will I ever finish plating these dishes. Smooth Kiptyn...I'll give you some extra credit for that one.

After dinner, they take some time to relax on the couch, while Kiptyn explains how he talked himself into coming on the show, because he needed to learn how to chase girls. He's always been the guy who takes what comes to him. This time he decided that it was time for him to put himself out there. So he decided to come on a show with 30 guys all chasing after the same girl?! That's pretty ambitious for your first go around. Maybe you could have started out in a bar with less competition. He must have a lot of confidence if he thinks he's going to prevail over the other twenty-some guys hand selected for Jillian. I guess he did something right, because he won the rose. Jillian even did a little dance after walking him out. She's definitely smitten!

The next day, Jillian took the man group to enjoy one of Canada's most beloved sporting events. Hockey you ask....no...CURLING! It's like a combo of shuffle board and ice skating; only less exciting if that's possible. Basically they all fell down a bunch and looked really stupid sweeping the ice. Michael got to hug her a lot and Jesse was the only one who showed us that he knew what to do with his stones. He killed it! He hit the bullseye. I honestly have no idea what that means or why this stupid game exists.

Jesse's Red Team won the curling competition and a private dinner cruise with Jillian, while the others were sent back to the hotel. They had a little toast on deck before going downstairs for dinner. I'm not sure what else they were eating. All I remember is some guy walking in with a big pan and dumping a bunch of crab all over the table...DIG IN! Jillian stole Jake away for a little private tour of the ship. They hadn't had any real alone time since their country western one on one date. Jillian tells Jake that she thinks he's absolutely perfect! Which Jake basically takes as an insult...like too perfect is a bad thing. Apparently he gets that a lot right before he gets dumped. She told him that she just wanted him to be himself...scary thing was...Jake thought he was being himself.

Jesse also got some one on one time to show her that he looks good in a hat and that he's a pretty good kisser. Thank goodness he and his grandmother took those shuffle board lessons, I'm sure that's what really won him the rose. It certainly wasn't the hat.

David takes his alone time to tell Jillian that he's ass man and just an ass overall. He kept going on and on about how great her butt looked in spandex. Apparently he thought that was the way to get her into the mood, because he leaned in and tried to kiss her. She gave him the cheek. David was pretty surprised. He'd "never been turned down for a kiss". He wondered why everyone else was getting some lip and not him. He totally disrespected her. He was even messing with her top and talking about her boob almost falling out. It was so awkward and wrong. I'm sure she was praying for Juan to come and steal her away this time. No such luck.

The two on one date this week was with Mike and Mark. I have to say that half of the time, I don't even recognize Mark. When he's standing there in his underwear with his glasses on and a five o'clock shadow, he looks like a totally different person, but give him five minutes to change, put in some contacts, shave and comb his hair and voila...perfecto! I felt bad for Mark on the date though. Even with his cleanly shaven face and freshly ironed shirt, Mike ran all over him. Mike jumped in the middle on the helicopter, so he was the only person sitting next to Jillian. Then at dinner, he did the toast and most of the talking. Poor Mark just sat there and decided that he might prefer to buy a dog and move off to Alaska. As Mike explained, this date is like a one on one date only split in half...kind of the way he cuts Mark off mid-sentence when he speaks.

Jillian explained how tough it was for her to make a decision on this date. So she takes some time out to speak to each one of them individually. Mike seemed to be saying all the right things, but I don't know that Jillian was totally buying it. He seemed really scripted. He may have been sincere, but it was hard to tell through all that thick wavy hair.

I think Mark was more vulnerable. He dumped his past out on the floor. He started talking about his past relationships and getting hurt and cheated on. It was like Christmas for Jillian. She finally found her wounded soldier. Mike never stood a chance. She gave him the boot. Speaking of boots...How many pairs does Jillian have? She's got some kick ass boots on this show. I wonder if she gets to keep those. Sorry...fashion tangent.

The cocktail party starts out with a little conversation alone with Reid. It was pretty obvious that he wanted to tell her something about the other guys, but he also didn't want to take away from his time with her to nark on the other dudes. So they just chatted and cuddled and asked stupid questions. Then Wes took her away to sit on the roof and tell her how much he missed her. She told him how much she loved his song, which thank God he didn't sing again, and he tried to tell her that he had genuine feelings for her, while the other guys stared out the window and started talking trash about him.

When they came back inside, Tanner decided that he had to be the one to step up and tell her that there were guys in the house with girlfriends and guys who weren't there for the right reasons. However, he failed to tell her that the dude she should be afraid of was Wes! And Wes ain't talkin...the one time we need that bastard to sing...he fails to deliver.

Jillian cuts the cocktail party short to go back into her little room and cry, but with Chris Harrison's help, she decides to come back out and confront them all about who the mystery man with the girlfriend is. Wes just looks around and tries to look as puzzled as everyone else. NO ONE spoke up. No one told her the truth. So Jillian was forced to make the decision without really knowing.

She sent home the tragic duo of David and Juan! I think it's funny that in David's exit he was still complaining about Juan and wondering if he somehow threw him under the bus. That boy needs to go into counseling before he even thinks about trying to have a real relationship.

Three down...ten to go. Tune in next week to hear Wes' new song for Jillian - Bad boys, bad boys...whatcha gonna do...whatcha gonna do when they have girlfriends too.

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